So I’m watching this Kanye West documentary on Netflix and I realize there is something that Kanye didn’t realize…when he had nothing, he had it all. He was always rapping about what he wanted to obtain materially but there was so much he had that most people longed for. When Kanye was broke and hungry to get on he had everything he needed. Like the love and support of his family and friends and clear purpose that was pulling him to his destiny. And dare I say, it seems to me that now that he has it everything he doesn’t really have anything. I mean once he made it he lost the support of his family and friends by literally losing them (RIP Donda) or just through distancing himself. So when Kanye got what he wanted, he lost all that he needed.
What I know to be true is that money and success cannot replace the desire for deep and meaningful relationships. And sometimes on the road to success we forget to keep our relationships at the forefront taking for granted the support system that got us there. And I’m not talking about keeping the same circle forever. I’m talking about whatever circle you are in you making sure you have some around you that loves and supports and listens to you when you are not feeling like you are amazing as everyone says you are. So one who will hold you accountable for your actions and tell you that they see you when others don’t. So one who is not vested in your success but vested in you.
So when people say things like “I don’t have time for a relationship cause I’m trying to get this money,” I cringe. It’s like your parents saying to you that you don’t have time for a no boyfriend because you gotta focus on school. Chile who says I can’t do both. The beauty of a really good relationship is that you have person who will encourage you to succeed and keep you accountable to your hopes and dreams. Hell when chasing the bag, strong interpersonal relationships are even more important because money can’t give you a hug when things do work out. And I’m not just talking about romantic relationships…all types of are worth developing and keeping at the forefront. I ain't talking about just someone you just hang with I’m talking about having someone you can go deep with. Someone you be vulnerable and transparent with. Someone that’s not just here for what you do but want to know why you do it.
When we only have shallow and surface level relationships where we cannot be honest with the ones around us or worse when they cannot be honest with us. There is an erosion on the self that happens that so damaging its hard to put into words. Success breeds these types of relationships because when folks livelihood depends on your success they are going to tell you what you wanna hear and not what you need to hear. People will turn a blind eye to healing dysfunction when the person is highly productive in their field. And then we miss an opportunity to help someone because we chalk the dysfunction up to that’s what they need to be successful. Like is the success worth losing the person? It’s like killing the goose to get the golden egg.
Sometimes we think achieving and acquiring can fill the void that we have for human connection but it cannot. But we keep trying because being vulnerable is too hard. Human connection is messy and it hurts. But the pain is worth the love. When you can connect with someone and be all in without trying to be guard your feelings, Just like the relationship Kanye had with his mom, you already have everything that matters.